No. 4 - Grandmother’s on the Corner

You walk down the street lost in thought, preparing for your daily toil, or hastily running errands. Your mind races as you think about this pressing issue, or that one. You barely have time to “stop and smell the daisies”, much less take a good look at what is happening in your community. And you don’t even see what is right before your eyes.

Nowadays we rarely have time for anything but ourselves. We allow ourselves to believe that we only have the energy to deal with the challenges and issues in our lives. We rationalize that each individual has the capacity and responsibility to take care of their own affairs, so why should we bother?

There is an elderly Grandmother in my community who – without fail – is on the corner panhandling her modest wares to sustain herself. I’ve watched a number of times as she sat there determined to hold on to her pride, knowing full well that her needs will be provided for. I watched as people passed by with looks of disdain or contempt on their faces. I’ve taken time to speak with this elderly Grandmother and to give her some money to help her to meet her needs. I’ve made it clear to my 10-year-old daughter as we walked past this Grandmother that she must greet this elder with respect, and to find a way to give something to this Grandmother. I’ve taken money out of my pocket and placed it squarely into my daughters hand, then told her to go and give it to this proud Black Grandmother, and to be sure to smile at her.

Can it be that we have finally forgotten where we have come from and to whom we owe our very lives? Do we now think a Grandmother whose life circumstance has forced her to do what she must to survive, even to the point of having to go into the street for sustenance, is acceptable? And what of our many ancestors who understood the value of sacrifice, support, and heritage – have we gotten so far away from that sense of moral obligation that we no longer care?

I think not. But I do think we have to do so much more to reach out into our communities and give our Grandmothers (and Grandfathers) the praise, respect, and attention they deserve by not allowing them to swallow their pride and beg in the streets for help. We ought to take the initiative EVERY time we see them and give what we can before they have to ask. We ought to make it our purpose to say a kind word or two to our elders in acknowledgment of their existence, and to let them know we DO care.

Parents need to help their children understand we are better than that; that it is good for the mind and spirit to give what we can to our elders; and we are obligated to step up our attentiveness and diligence with regard to reaching out to these much-valued parts of our community. It should be the goal of each of us to call these elders Grandmother or Grandfather because they are. Even if not your blood relative, they are indeed the blood relative to someone else and therefore warrant the title, and respect, that comes with being a Grandparent.

I do not believe these elders who have fallen on such hard times did so by choice… who would? I believe life has dealt them a blow in the past that circumstance and resources made worse and they were unable to restore their livelihood. I believe these are good people who are daring and intelligent, and who - even in this hardship - are demonstrating to those willing to watch and listen what it means to do what you have to do to survive, and still hold your head up.

One final thought… about twenty to thirty years from now WE will be the elders. We will be the ones in need of community interaction. We will be the holders of our history and the many lessons that must be shared. While I hope no one will have to panhandle to survive day-to-day life, I do understand it is a very real possibility.

Today we must set the example for the youth and community of tomorrow so that when our needs are great we will not have to exist alone. Today we store treasures for our tomorrow by the acts we do for our community.

One day I will be a Grandfather, one day my child will be a Grandmother… The same holds true for you. I am humbly asking you to join me in supporting our elders how you can, but to do so consistently. It is the only hope we have for OUR future.