To Love her is to Know her. That is key to unlocking the heart of the woman you love. What she wants more than anything is to know she is not only heard, but also responded to. To get to know your Queen we men must be willing to do two things:
· Have honest dialog with your her
· Be willing to help her overcome her relationship fears by demonstrating you will be there for her no matter what
The stature of the common Black man (the ones we see in the streets these days) has been lowered to a point that puts us years behind in our development. Inside all of us is the knowing that we are somebody and that we could always do better. We are empty of the vitality that comes from the exercising of intellectual passion. The stresses and problems we face in life are overwhelming and we get lost in trying to achieve a particular goal. Our desire to realize goals removes us from being available to our Queens. These are the realities of our day…
Or are they?
I say Black men need to Man Up! I say Black men need to recognize how important it is the give their Queen proper attention. I say Black men must no longer waste their time talking about building a better community or becoming a better person when they do not do the things that demonstrate they mean it.
Okay, that’s been said… I feel a little better… so just what are the specifics of how a man can love his Queen?
Listen to her.
Hear what she is saying.
Do what she needs to have done.
The way to demonstrating your interest in loving, and your ability to love your Queen is to listen to what she says she needs from you. Listen without saying any words other than, “I understand” (and you must mean it). When she tells you she needs that hug once a day, give it. When she tells you that sometimes she’s afraid because of something someone did to her long ago, hug her. When she says she needs some time to herself, ask her if she prefers that you step out for a while.
In order to love your Queen, you have to know how she wants to be loved, and then give that love to her.
Do something she’s been asking you to do for some time; take her out, buy that dress, write her a love note, massage her feet. Separate yourself from the seriousness of life and make time to laugh with her.
We must reflect upon our fondest memories of our childhood and remember that we have ALWAYS had the greatest of times when we were able to laugh with one another. We must know that the closeness and secrets shared during the innocence of youth gave rise to our every wonderful memory - memories that you may be having as you read this. And we must remind ourselves that just because we are grown and conducting ourselves as responsible adults, we are not required to sacrifice our Love life. It does not require that we stop individual growth and development. And it does not void our capacity to openly enjoy the company of our Queen.
It is okay to say I’m sorry. It is okay to not have an answer to a problem or question at the moment. It is okay to let your Queen know you’re having a terrible day and you do love her. It is okay to speak honestly to her about your thoughts and feelings, even if she may become angry.
I believe within each of us resides the potential to fully realize the greatness of our destiny – individually and collectively. I believe that the men who are coming together in search of ways to live and love more fully are genuine and sincere – I am part of that movement.
I pause to consider how challenging life is for so many of us and I have to admit I’m talking about adding yet another challenge to your plate.
When you consider how cold and lonely life can be; when you look inside the mirror that is you; and when you can honestly see the urgent need to rebuild our communities, I hope you choose to make the effort that will brighten your life, bring you in the closer company of loved ones, and lead you to a fuller happiness.
All too often we tend to think the love we’re giving her ought to be enough. Sometimes, and for some people it is. But for others it’s nowhere near what it ought to be, or what she needs. In those cases, the only way to demonstrate your love, is to love her the way she needs you to.
After all, if you are getting the love you need from her, it only makes sense. To give good love and to receive good love is the spiciest form of mutual respect two people can share… let’s call it Righteous Love.
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