No. 35 - Let Them Hear You Speak

I have believed in US (Black Men and Women), it seems forever. As someone committed to uplifting the community, life has required that I first look within myself to be able to see my barriers. Not just to see them, I should add, but to see them so I can overcome them. To say this past week has been phenomenal would not do it justice. Sometimes we are blessed with the knowledge that we are solidly on our paths and we then know, without question, we will be successful. For me, after all the terrain I’ve traversed this week, there were three distinct events that have given me this clarity.

I shall name them in chronological order.

I spent over three hours in a Men’s meeting where we invited youth to come and help us understand their world and how we can better serve their needs. In this meeting we heard from all sides – Black males from age 14 – 67 – because we want to know what is missing in their lives. All the older men were passionate and caring, wanting to know what to do. All the youth were adamant that they needed us to step up and walk their road with them – they needed our leadership. I sat and watched, taking in what was said and how things were received. As soon as all sides started talking about Fathers and Sons the room errupted into energetic life. So I saw more clearly the need for older men and younger men to start talking to each other more, and to do so right now! (Event number 1)

Then I was in a meeting to discuss a film project, and during that meeting we happened upon a discussion about Reality. Quite interesting, indeed. The person I was talking to said their understanding of reality was more about the content of the thing their eyes perceived. (In other words, you might see a flower and think you know what it is but it might not be the kind of flower you think, therefore you had a false reality – pretty deep, huh)? My position is the thing one sees and thinks make up ones own reality, even if it is different from some one else’s persception. I believe it is still a reality to that person because that person is responding to things based upon how he/she perceives them. But this left me thinking… (Event number 2)

Later on I spent some time with my Cousin who is someone who some people would “size up” in a moment and then discount him (alas, I must admit, my Cousin is deeply involved in Hip-Hop culture). We hung out and had a great time enjoying some TV. While talking before the Comedy show we watched we had a discussion around Reality. During this conversation I asked him if Perception is Reality. What a conversation we had! His thinking was that it all depends on how you look at things. Whoa! Now that’s perception! We talked about it more and soon everything lined up for me. (Event number 3)

These events have caused me to reaffirm my belief in the need to take immediate action and to involve all parties in finding solutions for our community.

The reason our communities are all so fragmented and weakened is because we have chosen to hold our perspectives (our realities) over all others, and to use that perspective as an emotional weapon to push people away. Think about it, how many times have we turned our backs on someone because of their lifestyle or ideas simply because they did not agree with our own? How many times have we allowed ourselves to stay away from others simply because they are – or might be – doing something we do not like?

If we call ourselves family then how can we turn away from our own blood, our own kin? This thought alone is enough to demonstrate the impact perception has on us.

So what was the epiphany? What was this great realization/confirmation I experienced?

It goes a like this: To overcome our prejudice and fear of one another, we have to all acknowledge the perceptions (realities) of others to be just as valid as our own. Therein lies the balance we so desperately seek… the common ground we all possess and can acknowledge to one another. In order to do that we have to get out of our houses in into the perceptions of those we want to embrace. In other words, we have the capacity to put ourselves into the reality of those we wish to reach.

In talking with my cousin I realized what family is. It is about looking our Brothers and Sisters in the face and telling them you love them regardless of what you or others might think about decisions they make. It is about being part of their lives so they can have someone who has already walked the gauntlet to help them in their quest. It is about opening our ears to hear what they have to say without bias or judgment – but making it clear we are listening to them. It is about being honest in who we are as individuals who have been positioned in life to perform some great service to our community, and now realizing that service starts at home.

Don’t get me wrong. There are many people in our community who are reaching out to others. I applaud them.

I just know we all need to be doing more. When we are saturated into our community, and doing our part to embrace others, we will be ready to reclaim our true strength as a united community.

And when you have reached out to embrace your young Brother or Sister; when you have overcome your reluctance to be who you are; when you have gotten into their reality by answering their call for connectedness and attention…

Let Them Hear You Speak


“I don’t care if your baby’s pants are hanging to his knees, I rather you be in his life to lead the way, than to have some prison destroy him. Do not throw your Children away!”

- Congresswoman Maxine Waters
- Speech at Black Methodist For Church Renewal Banquet, 2008