No. 64 - How She Cries

I’m writing this after considering some things I had recently heard while working with a group of Women on a project centered around, well, Woman’s issues. I must say I was absolutely floored upon hearing some of the stories these beautiful Sisters shared. These stories will stay with me for a long time to come and I respect the daring, strength and determination of the many Women who felt comfortable enough to share their most personal stories with me in their midst.

In the end, I am saddened by all the hurt, deception, violation of trust, and abandonment that goes on in our community. I feel we have to find a way to overcome these issues in order to have a better experience in this life.

And I am encouraged because the process of healing and recovery has begun. It began the moment these great Women decided it was time to talk about what had happened to them so long ago… and what still happens in our community today. They are on the road to healing.

Try to find a way to take encouragement from this and know that we all have to start talking about the good and bad truths of our lives. This is so because, in order to take back the power and authority to create a stronger community we must first understand we are all either one of two things:

… Part of the problem, or part of the solution.


How She Cries

Upon a time, but not so long ago
I was afraid to see that which is ever before me
My thoughts and machinations were of petty things
Endeavoring to realize some distant goal
Endeavoring to attain some material delight
Yet, never a thought to what is most precious…

Her strength beguiles me, lulls me to a place of solace
And I fail to consider those hidden things that darken Her Soul
I am caused to think that all is well by her joy in the moment
Oblivious to the loud echoes of past hurts that consume Her
Oblivious to the haunting fears that burst into Her reality
Even to this day, only more profound, more pervasive, more contrived

In Her mirror She boldly faces down the monster that seeks Her ruin
She holds Her head high, finding reason to smile, reason to laugh
Reason to move beyond the betrayal that threatens to break Her
She will not allow Her Spirit to be broken
She will not yield to the doom that comes with temptation
Her daily challenge is to find reason to smile, to care, to be

Many look upon Her actions with disdain, contempt, without care
Others laugh at the “pitiful wreak” that fights to forget the pain
Not knowing the inner ordeal, not knowing the flashes of disgust
But She holds fast to Her humanity, even while hidden
But She finds the path to Her own strength, even in the dark
For how can an outsider see the trauma that besets Her

Long ago, in a place that was once safe, secure, called home
She was made to do that which disgusted Her
Over and over, Her trust was betrayed
By the one that was said to be trustworthy
By the one that was supposed to protect Her
Or by the two who had come together to create this beautiful Child

And Her heart ached then as She did Her best to cope
How could they even look at Her, how could She look at them
What was once precious was taken without thought
Taken to never be returned
Taken with no regard to the price She – and we – would ever pay
And the price has been dear to all: tears, hurt, shame, guilt, ignorance

From that moment forward She is changed
Forced to deal with something Her young mind has no preparation for
Made to act as if everything is all right
When in fact Her world has become a nightmare
When in fact She can no longer dream Her innocent dreams
Flashes of fear and hurt become a familiar fixture in Her world

So how does She cry
What has become of this radiant young child that has been so violated
Ten, twenty, thirty, even fifty year later – in this present day
She still sees those sights
She still feels that violation
Only, now the burden is part of Her perception and, it is as it is

We wonder where Her anger draws its power
We think She is crazy, not in touch with reality
Yet She truly is… even more in touch than we are
Because She has not yet found a way to forget
Because the very ones that violated her are still about
And She has held Her pain, Her truth away from all, save a few

She will question you when She cares
She will discard you when She fears
She will love you from Her Soul
She will do so not by being shy, but by being bold
The good in it, the bad in it, the fullness of it
And in the end, if you are enough for Her, She is enough for you

… How She Cries …
Loudly, softly, confidently, fearfully, deeply
Yes, so very deeply
She cries to be free of the haunts, the past hurtful memories
She cries to prevent the lose of Her Soul this tragic violation demands
She cries because She will find a way to breathe

What is the role I must play in all this
Am I the cause for continued duress
Or is mine the hand that will accompany Her in the journey
The choice is ours to make – Hers and mine
Yet, I’ve long known:
A challenging journey shared is always a better journey survived.