No. 80 - Anger and the Wind

Maya and I have been together for almost three years now and I’d have to say we’ve faced some challenges and shared some great times together. She is not one to play around too much, nor is she one to mess up things around the house -- getting into things she knows she should not -- because she’s a fairly neat Girl. In all the time we’ve been together I like to think she and I have a special relationship. We have a way of communicating that some might consider unreal or unusual yet, in my humble opinion, it’s real and relevant.

As in all things, we are given opportunities to learn at every corner... we simply have to be willing to look. This is such a story.

This morning at 3:15 a.m. I was awakened by what sounded like Maya attempting to come into our room -- did I mention Maya is my Cat? Maya knows this is not allowed... she and I have had a number of highly impassioned interactions around her ability to open doors that weren’t closed properly to gain access to some of her favorite spots -- particularly the door that leads into my bedroom. Needless to say, I’ve made it clear our room is off limits and she cannot sleep in there without pre-approval from both me and my Queen.

However, there are times when nature calls and Maya knows how to claw and meow her way into our early morning slumber, attempting to get me up so I can let her out to do her business. In her defense, this is not something that happens routinely so I have to acknowledge she is a good Cat. But those times when she has these unexpected needs can ruin a great night of sleep. They can even cause a Man to stay up long afterwards writing about some gem of an insight that was introduced to him because of some interaction or insight gained... hence, this dispatch.

Back to the story...

So at 3:15 a.m. I was awakened by what I thought was Maya at the door needing to go out to relieve herself. As I have historically done when awakened as such, I lay there in groggy consciousness waiting for the confirmatory sign that Maya was at it again. I felt a pang of anger stab at me because that sleep I had enjoyed was quite good and I so needed it. Yet here we are again, after training Maya to go do her business before she comes home from her nightly jaunt, I wake up to her request for my attention. And while I felt a pang of anger, I could only imagine how my Queen might have felt if she had heard the sounds and was awakened.

And there at last came the rattle of the door. There was the confirmatory experience that justified my pang of anger -- that was now a growing sense of agitation. In my mind I was arguing with Maya that she knew better than this... she had been doing so well, WHY! would she falter now? One can only imagine the pictures that popped into my mind of how Maya was gonna get it for waking me out of my much needed and thoroughly enjoyable slumber.

I got up and staggered to the door, unwilling to release the comforting call of the sleep that was still within my grasp. I stumbled over a pillow that lay discarded on the floor, unable to recall that I was responsible for putting it there. I paused before I opened the door, knowing full well that Maya would make a mad dash to some hidden place in response to her violation of our agreement. I imagined having to coax her out of this hiding place and taking her to the back door, all the while with her attempting to explain her position (yeah, even though it’s not scientific or even proven, I believe Maya and I do have a form of communication). In truth, this was not something I looked forward to... after all, Maya is more then a pet to me, she is part of my fond memories and my family so scolding her in the wee hours of the morning has a certain distaste to it.

I opened the door and expected to see her silhouette dashing off to some secret place, the moonlight glimmering off her fur. No Maya. I saw not even a fleeting glimpse of her secreting herself away. Had she gotten that fast?

So I decided I should take advantage of the moment and well, go relieve myself. My head still foggy from the sleep, I entered into the bathroom and lo and behold Maya was “chilaxing” by the tub. She gave me a short unexcited meow that I interpreted to mean:”Why you waking me from my sleep?” The nerve of that Cat...

It was then that I understood I was wrong in my initial assessment of the situation and that Maya had not broken protocol by waking me up in the dead of night. Maya had not reverted back to her days of adolescent ignorance where she would selfishly get in my face and lay a sharply clawed paw on my slumbering chin. She had not back slid to the times in her life -- our lives -- when she expected me to spend time keeping her company simply because she was afraid or wanted to explore some undiscovered place that seemed of interest to her.

I looked down at her and she was looking up at me. I got the impression she was saying: “Dude, hurry up, you messing with my beauty sleep!” Her second meow verified this... it had a bit of an impatient tone to it. I reached down to scratch her head as I fondly do so often and she was not having it...
My finger met a raised paw. I had the impression if she had a knife it would be in her hand -- er, paw. (Okay, so I have a seriously creative imagination)!

So I wobbled out of the bathroom and back into bed. No sooner had I rested my head on my pillow did I hear the sound again. Now I’m thinking “What the..?... Maya had better not be playing with me!” Again I felt that pang of anger... I needed my sleep... I wanted my sleep...

I got up, this time determined to catch the culprit. I would stand by the door for as long as it took to determine where the ruckus was coming from and put an end to it. It took no more than 20 seconds for the perpetrator to make itself known. The next time the door creaked I noticed the curtain had moved just prior to the sound. Yup, that was it... the wind was blowing through our open windows and because of the vacuum was causing the door to sound like Maya was attempting to get our attention. I had gotten mad at Maya thinking she was behind this when in fact she had absolutely nothing to do with the Wind or the door.

This realization was both comforting and revealing. It was very good to know Maya was doing well and sticking to her end of our bargain, and that was a great comfort to me. It was revealing because the experience caused me to see how my assumptions (thoughts) lead to emotions that I should not have allowed to determine how I thought about the situation. I have come to appreciate the fact we should not assume anything when other lives are concerned but should go forward in faith, seeking knowledge, and knowing they are innocent -- or there is a good reason for their behavior, at the very least.

It quickly became apparent to me that my anger was at the Wind, not my beloved Cat. And what is the value in, or what can ever be gained from, being angry something as natural and uncontrollable as the Wind? What about other things we get upset about? I wonder how many of the things we become angry with have their origins in the Wind, are controlled by the Wind, or should be regarded as the Wind...

Is our view of life frustrated because of attempts to mix Anger and the Wind?

So here I am over an hour later, compelled to create this dispatch and the irony of the moment -- the proof that I have learned -- is that Maya came into the kitchen and jumped into my lap where she is now fast asleep.

Once again she and I have created a memory that will not be soon forgotten, and once again I thank God for her existence in my life. Little did I know so many years back this dedicated Cat, my furry family member, would help me to see so much of (and so clearly, at that) how I view the world in which I live.

As Maya would put it: “Meow”.